As a parent you want the best for your child.
As a parent you want the best for your child.
by
in ADHD Posted on
03/22/2021 07:00 AM
As a parent, you want the best for your child.
But often, doing that which you feel is the best for your child can lead to a power struggle between the both of you.
If your child discovers that arguing and throwing tantrums gets them out of something, they’re probably going to be doing that over and over again.
Don't let it happen.
Here are a few tips that will help you get avoid a power struggle with your kids:
Give Them a Choice
Children often act out when they feel overpowered or powerless.
Simply telling your kids to do something they don’t want to do will likely foster resistance.
So, give them choices when it comes to getting things done.
For example, if you clash with your child about finishing homework after school, offer two or three different times to get the homework done.
Of course, this doesn't mean that you are giving them all of the power in the situation.
Make it clear to them that if they don’t hold up their end of the deal, they won’t be able to make the choice again in the future.
Avoid the Argument
What you may not know is that whenever you get into an argument with your child, they get the impression that they have the power to challenge what you say.
This can lead to them thinking that acting defiant gets them what they want, which in turn causes them to misbehave more.
If your child tries to draw you into an argument over something, don’t give in.
Instead, tell them that the discussion is over and leave the room.
Walking away takes away all of their power to challenge you since you’re not there to argue anymore.
Keep the Kids InvolvedWhen your kids are involved in the process of setting up rules and routines, they will likely feel better about following these rules in the future.
Instead of making these decisions purely on your own, discuss it with them and ask for their input.
Keeping them involved in the decision-making helps them feel less overpowered and less likely to act out.
Not only that; their input may also give you insight when it comes to establishing new rules.
For example, if your kids often battle over who gets to sit in the front seat, this probably creates a power struggle between them.
At this point, they'll expect you to choose sides.
However, if you work out a schedule together to determine when each one gets to sit up front, they'll probably be more content waiting for their turn.
The best way to “win” these power struggles with your kids is to avoid them completely.
By making your children feel more involved and letting them know that their contribution is appreciated, they will view following the rules as helping you, not losing a battle to you.
I hope this gives you a whole new perspective about handling power tussle issues with your children.
Talk to you soon,
My Best George
Founder ADHD Learning Pathways
